so... portland rocks the socks off every other place in the world, and that's all i have to say about that.
europe was great. europe is great. it's amazing and there's more to see than anyone ever could. i've got a boatload of postcards, quite a cache of photos, and some memories i wouldn't trade for anything. you see a little bit more of the world and you kind of start to understand that everything's not black and white, good or bad, pretty or ugly. people are the same everywhere, a lot of things are universal, and borders are only lines on maps and maybe in some cases fences placed there by people who thought they had the authority. most of the things i learned though, i wasn't really expecting to and they weren't really specific to any place or time.
it was a wonderful experience in being a tourist. i toured cities and saw the sights and rode trains and consulted maps and stayed in hostels and spoke in foreign languages and people-watched (and i didn't get mugged and cynda didn't get run over by a moped - success!) ...and i had a lot of fun doing it and it was beautiful and it was truly awesome, but now that all is said and done, i'm not sure i'd do it again. i don't think i'd go back to europe again as a tourist. maybe next time as a pilgrim or a cyclist or a student or a worker or an inhabitant, maybe. if i'm going anywhere as a blatant tourist, it'll be a road trip across america. (do you realize what an incredible land we live in right here in the u.s. of a?) it's gonna happen.
i love being home, sleeping in my own bed, being able to see friends... i hate having to say goodbye to people. or not saying goodbye, sometimes it's better that way but sometimes it's even worse.
i was listening to some u2 (yes, u2) that brought back the summer after senior year. do you remember that? it was probably the best summer i ever had and maybe ever will have, who knows? i'd like to think it just gets better, even if we see so much less of each other, even if people leave and may not come back, even if we all decide somewhere else could be home at least for a little while, even if we do get older. just as long as we pray that we don't lose our memories as we age, and we'll all float on.
oh man, we're always in such a hurry to start something new or to go off to someplace or to finish the semester or, you know, to grow up... and then we end up missing our childhood or that crazy high school era or our carefree college days. it doesn't make much sense to live that way. and that's the way it goes, i always feel like i've got plenty of time to do the things i want to do and talk to the people i want to talk to, but somehow all that time slips away and nothing ever gets done. it's a dangerous mindset to get into, thinking you have all the time in the world, because that's not living life to the fullest. people tend to live as if they're never going to die and then they end up dying without ever having lived.
i heard it once put that the greatest sin of all is regret. there are so many things i would have regretted not doing if i hadn't done them and so many things i would never have done if i hadn't thought i'd regret them later. i've gotten crap from people for some of them and there will always be people who have problems with the things i or anyone else for that matter do or believe. hell, i've given people crap when i shouldn't have, but what do i know? i really don't know anything about anyone other than me and i don't have the answers and i'm not always right. humility's one of the hardest things to learn, i think.
hey, just don't live for anyone else and don't do anything you don't wanna and don't let 'em walk all over you just because they can. and when all else fails, just do it so you won't regret it later.
(what're you hoping for?)
