all your hopes and dreams they rise and fall secretly, a cacophany.

there's nothing like the oregon coast. the weather was so perfect, it was insane. i broke my second camera while at the beach. the last time was over winter break, when we all decided to go to the beach after mass at jesuit and i skipped around with nancy gathering sand dollars and the boys cooked steak over a fire and pat didn't fly his kite because it was tangled and cynda kept trying to pants me and i can't believe no one told mike. and i got sand in my camera and it took forever to get a new one because best buy was being silly, and then they just ended up giving me a different one that they said was equal or better but really it wasn't, it was much worse. and now i got sand in this camera because i was sliding down sand dunes but really it doesn't matter because my camera was kind of crappy and playing on the sand dunes was a lot of fun. you can miss out on a lot by being too careful.

it's been said over and over again, but you don't really realize what you've got until you don't have it anymore. the suckiest part about working is how much time it takes up. i take my laptop everywhere around the house with me so that i've always got something to listen to, and the other day, i was trying to brush up on spanish while jogging and just now i wrote the majority of this post in the bathtub. a girl's gotta learn to multitask sometimes. i think that's why i've had trouble falling asleep lately, because i try to do too much at night after i get home when i would otherwise be getting to bed and it just gets me all wired up and then i can't get myself out of bed at 5 in the morning because what was i thinking signing up for class that early? every morning this week, i have overslept and missed my first class, which is yoga, so it might not be so bad except that i really like that class. today i slept through my first two classes and then got within sight of the bus stop to see it pulling away so i hung out in the parking lot of jack in the box which was nice because it was warm and sunny but the bus wasn't coming and i was going to be late and really, i was more than a little fed up with myself. anyway, so i sat there and read a good portion of the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe, which i liked very much, by the way, and eventually cynda ended up picking me up so it was all good.

i was looking at my pictures online from my pseudo spring break in hawaii which was actually so much better than my actual spring break in hawaii, and they are such cute pictures and that week was so much fun with nancy's crazy friends and ulrich. i told myself i would probably never go back to hawaii because i'd rather go someplace new instead, but i loved it there and i think i'll have to visit again sometime, only i know it would never even be close to the same so maybe i should just stick with the memories i've got. if you ever get the chance to go to hawaii, you should go because it's amazing, but probaby not if you're going to be all touristy about it, i guess. anyway, even though i loved it and i miss it and hawaii is great, i am glad that i'm home because i wouldn't want to be anywhere other than here right now.

i'm not sure whether i'm going to have any luck but i think i'm going to try and get some sleep because i'm sure i need it.

but i would just like you to know that walks on the beach are some of the nicest experiences a person can have, i think. especially when you're with a good friend that will talk and laugh and chase seagulls and jump on dunes and fall on your butt with you. and people can be so strong and beautiful, even if they don't know it, and for many moments you can forget the bad things staring you in the face because everything's like it's always been and you feel like it could stay that way forever and it's wonderful because you can't help but smile.